I have posited that I am a slave to Christ. However, I have not always lived as such. Oh, from time beyond (my) remembrance I have tried to live a Christian life, and although I have from time to time contemplated turning my back on my faith, I have always had faith and always tried to live faithfully to that faith I have. I have always believed in Christ, his atoning death and empowering resurrection, and in the Holy Spirit's active transforming of my present life into something better than what it could have been. I accepted the salvific act of Christ for my life at the age of four and have never abandoned that salvation.
What I am saying here is I have been not always been faithful to be a slave of Christ. I have often tried to be Christ's teammate or side-kick. I have lived how I thought Christ would want me to. I have not always sought His explicit direction for me. I believe with my whole being that He has called me into ministry, and that specifically with teenagers and children. Because
of this I assumed that a Master of Arts degree in Christian Education was the logical next step after I earned a bachelor's in Youth Ministry. However, that assumption has been strongly challenged in the last couple days. I'm not sure if I'm to give up on the MACE completely, or just take a break. All I know is that I need to take some time off from my schooling. I need to take a breather, sit back, and seek God's guidance.
As I said, I have tried to be Jesus' side-kick. It is the role of the side-kick to follow the tutelage of their mentor. They are trained by them, disciplined by them, and taught how to be a hero.
However, there has never been a side-kick in comic book history that has not disobeyed their mentor, often spurred on by the thought that they know better about their own good or their mentor's own good. Two results come of the disobeying of the mentor. The first is that the side-kick ends up saving their mentor, proving that the mentor taught them well. The second is that the side-kick gets their hind-parts royally handed to them, needing to be rescued by their mentor. Showing that they have not learned well, and bringing a scolding from their mentor. The thing with the side-kick is he eventually breaks off on his own, assuming a different secret identity, and possibly taking on his own sidekick. This is a great model of peer-to-peer mentoring. This would be a great system to incorporate into the church more often and more fully. What I would have given to be a youth pastor's side-kick back when I was a teen. I would have learned so much and been so much more prepared to be a youth pastor now. Nonetheless, this is not the relationship I want with Christ.
I want to be the slave of Christ. I want my very life to depend on him. He has freed me from slavery that leads to death and given me true life, how can I not submit myself to slavery to Him, a slavery which leads to life. To seek him about the choices I make, to give Him the final say in the choice I try to make about my life. To seek Him first and place Him first in everything. As I said, I am taking time off. I will be seeking Christ's direction for my next step. Spending a lot of time in prayer and devotion. Focusing on my role as youth pastor at the church I serve, and my role as husband to my wife. Areas that I have been slacking at because I jumped to quickly into the next step of education.
So I place my future fully and only in the hands of my Creator, my Savior, my Master, my God. May He lead me where He wants me, may I do what He wants me to do.
Grace and Peace
